I might cry myself to sleep, I might try to dream, I might clear my throat and try to scream, I might stare at a screen all day, no money, no problems, no solutions to the volume turned up in the room, hyper-real, consumed, groomed my hair, doomed,, extra details, extraneous nails and the screws in my hands and my nails grow longer, and scratch my fear,, I can barely stand, shaky legs, shaky arms, shaky hands, nothing was harmed in the making of this long ass poem, I don't know him or her or words to say, for freedom, let me explain, exclaimed the maimed one, the flame is out of the fire, the aim is out of desire, the lame and the meek, I tame my will to speak, my desire to peak, aspire for higher purpose, nervous I promise, the longest wait till I vomit, tossing and turning on a cot in the office, I'm cautious, the caustic substance on the wound caused this to be completely honest, the burn out, the constant novice, sitting on my aching coccyx, the puddle of toxins underneath my engine demands my attention, the tension in the room makes me tip toe, skip through the movie and keep the volume low, reload and relocate, float the burnt rubber on the pavement outside of the apartment, I stayed in on occasion till my bank account was empty and vacant, fined for vagrancy, maintain complacency lately, its late at night, I cant speak, I cant see in the dark but my eyes adjust, adjunct existence, zits on dry skin, skin me alive then, predator leviathan, writhing serpent, surface tension worthless and penetrated, visionary self deprecation, defecate on my favorite locations, desecrate a grave, I'm in grave danger, the anger I feel inside of me cant be contained so it spills over like a bubbling boiling grease pit, armpits smell like a raccoon, outside at noon its cold until soon it gives and its warm and I'm warm and I hold myself toward the sun for some light on my skin, lite touch, light up the dutch, light up my clutches my hands and my palms, poultry, telephone poles and trees, lamp posts and greed, agree to disagree about my ways of grieving, my way of breathing dissected, insects crushed on the asphalt, its my fault I know, I'm known and unknown, the home I was at isn't my home and I'm that yes I'm that, I'm this and I'm that yes I'm that, outside like a cat, caged up like a cat, not allowed back like a cat thats wild, feral child, very mild freestyle, the style I have is a while away from making sense and I cant hone it or sharpen in, chardonnay wine, whine and dine and kill me, instill me with fear so I can be the real me, drill me with information that will make me filthy, and dirty, flirt with me till I'm hurting, hurt me till I'm bleeding, read me till I'm deleted from your memory, overlapping over and over and over until the stack is so big it topples, stock up with apples that rot, the flesh rots, the thoughts rot in my mind, they're way past expiration, inspiration and respiration, rest assured, I'm tested well and evasive maneuvers are necessary,